Fused in the Ordinary.

So its been a while since I've written on here. Over a year and a half. But my heart is heavy with a moment tonight, and I type faster than I journal. And I want to keep this before the hustle and bustle of life threatens to creep in again. I know I am prone to forget.

Something different happened tonight when I went to put Weston to bed. Instead of feeding him with my eyes on the clock, and putting him right to bed, I held him. And held him. And rocked him. And just looked at his face. The outline. His sweet nose. His wide-open, fast asleep mouth. His tiny ears. Thinking about how just 12 months ago, this little life did not exist. And God formed him from absolutely nothing. And grew him in my womb. And brought him safely into this world and into our lives. For the first time in a long time, I just cried and cried and prayed with thanksgiving to the Lord. Why is it so easy to take this for granted? Psalm 139 was singing in my heart. He knit Weston together. His works ARE indeed wonderful, my soul knows it well- and can see it with my own eyes in this tiny work of His creation.

I feel like this was a culmination of a few things that I have read and a few conversations I have had with some dear sisters in the Lord. When Weston was just a few weeks old, a sister encouraged me (in my endless questions about baby schedules/feeding/sleeping/you get the point) to remember to enjoy my child as the gift that he is from God. Routine and a framework are definitely helpful and beneficial and necessary for the whole family, but if I take that framework and stress about it so much that I fail to just take in the moments to hold my sweet boy, I have a sense that I am going to regret it. I have also heard from moms with multiple children that you don't get nearly the snuggle time with your next kids as you did with your first. Things just understandably get busier. And babies just grow up quickly. Life just goes fast. James had it right. A vapor...

I LOVE checking things off a list. I always have. Can't go a day without my planner and a trusty to-do list! And although I think there's definite value to organization and planning, these qualities gone ary can often set me up to be consumed with the next thing to do, the next thing to cross off and accomplish. I'm on the computer and Weston needs my attention and I am agitated because he's interrupting my productivity. Wow! Really, Ashley? Now I am not advocating a child-centered home, and I believe there are times when it is good for him to fuss a little and get a delay in mom's attention. But as a general rule of my heart, I am constantly challenged to die to myself and my to-do list in order to love my family first (don't ask Nathan how I am doing on this one). I realize there's a definite possibility for me that one day soon I could look around and probably see trophies of productivity, but not have near the amount of trophies of precious memories or teaching moments with my kids. This sounds good on paper (or a blog), but is the area in which I feel most weak. In these moments, my mind often lands on my favorite theologian, Sara Groves, and this particular song. "Love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say I've got something better to do..."

Then there was this article that I saw today the 6th time I logged onto Facebook (can we say addiction??). So helpful.. Now that I am home, I do feel the pressure (mostly from myself) to have it all put together. To have the most creative home or meals or kid. Honestly, my mind has been occupied by the extra 30 pounds I am carrying and how unattractive I feel right now- I can't do my hair right, my fashion sense stinks, I'm so out of shape, blah blah blah. But the reality is that Nathan and Weston love me. And the even truer reality is that the Creator God, Ruler and Reigner of this Universe, went to the ends of the earth to rescue my sinful heart from the punishment I deserved by sending His SPOTLESS Son to die in my place. In the span of eternity, does my concern with my image really deserve the place I am giving it in my heart? Absolutely not. God's glory alone deserves that place. Is Weston going to look back in 20 years and complain that Mom wasn't cuter or skinnier or more crafty? Yeah right. My hearts desire and prayer to God is that he would be able to look back and say that Mom (in all her flaws) did what she could to show him the beauty of Jesus Christ. With or without Pinterest or sandwiches cut in the shapes of animals. ***caveat here: I don't think Pinterest is bad! Lots of cute ideas. My HEART is what twists it!

And then I spent some time tonight listening again, to Sara Groves, talk about her newest album, "Invisible Empires" here. Frenetic lifestyle- that's me. Value in slowing down to take it in. Later she talked about one of her songs "Precious Again" and I love the lyrics:

New tender mercies and infinite graces woven like thread in the cloths of my day. Deep wells of glory behind common faces. Where is the wonder? .... Press mud with holy fingers. Light the ineffable. Fused in the ordinary. There is the wonder.

And that takes me back to this article I read earlier this week. It truly is in the mundane tasks of life, our everyday relationships, that the Lord has so much to teach us about Himself and His calling on our lives. In our Colossians Bible study at church we have been talking over and over again about how there is no extra spiritual revelation to seek after. God has revealed everything He needs to about Himself in His Word and through His Son. We seek to know more of Christ! And He is gracious to weave opportunities for that learning throughout the everyday things in my life. Trouble cleaning up the same mess after Nathan leaves for work in the morning? Frustrated that Weston wakes up early from his nap again and interrupts MY time? Look to Christ who gave up his very life for people who didn't deserve it. I am not good at this. I just complain and get frustrated.

I feel like this is a mumbled mess of my heart, and I feel like I still have a lot welled up inside. And know there are probably still a million things wrong with my thinking and living. But so thankful that God promises to refine me, and that my standing before Him doesn't even rest in my ability to get it all right, or to savor all the moments. Or to always put others first. Or to always act like Jesus. Because I know I won't always. My standing before Him rests in what He's done for me in Jesus on the cross. And its with that confidence and that peace that I can draw near to the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace to help in my time of need (Heb. 4:16); that I can come to Him with these things on my heart and ask Him to change me and continue to make me into the wife and mother He would have me become, for my good and for the fame of JESUS!

Just some reflections from a new mom...

My New Home.

Posting has been a long time coming. But I had some time on this quiet Sunday morning. Nathan is enjoying his first day of Dayton hunting season. And a wonderful night last evening at our home church has caused me to do some reflecting.

We've been in Dayton now for over a year. And I don't know if its just the milestone we've hit or the Lord bringing conviction in a number of ways (probably both)- but I have been rather convicted lately of my discontentment and unwillingness to settle here. I notice that when I talk to people or customers at the bank, it's always, "I'm from Kentucky. I'm new here." Like this attitude of let me make sure you know where I'm from... it's not here. But I'm not new here anymore!! I miss Louisville terribly. Not just the city itself, but more importantly the relationships and our church and our home and just the comfort of living what felt like a "normal" life. I haven't detached my heart from there in a way that is necessary when you move to a new place. And I think my lack of quickness to do so has probably robbed me of some really great joys and relationships here in this new city where God has us. I've sensed the Lord telling me in a number of ways, "Ash, it's time to move on. Praise me for what you had in Louisville. But open yourself up to the things I have for you here. You're not going back there anytime soon."

A lot of you ask about our plans with the military and honestly, its kind of up in the air. We hope to be in Dayton for at least another 2 or 3 years. But we do have opportunities for Nathan to get an all-expenses-paid masters degree. If we go that route, we're committed for an extra 3 years, making this military thing a total of about 8 years. But the military can move you whenever they want. We are for sure committed to them at least another 4 years. We have talked about moving back to Kentucky whenever our term is over... but the earliest that could be happening is 4 years! That's a long time for me to just be living in this state of "I want to go home" and not really settling anywhere.

This has been one of the hardest seasons in my life, but is no doubt from the Lord's gracious hand. I have been struggling with anxiety attacks for the past 8 months. They seemed to come out of nowhere, but through some wonderful counseling I am getting right now, I am realizing that the Lord allowed them at this specific time in my life to write it firm on my heart that HE is in control, and I am not. HE is my firm foundation when all around me seems to change and give way. Maybe one day in the future I will blog more about this new trial in my life. But I just feel like this whole struggle has caused me to be self-focused and kind of depressed since we've been here.

We've been going to an Acts 29 church called Mercy Hill for a year now, and honestly, for a number of different reasons, I hadn't really committed to being there. We were going to community groups and I really liked a lot of the people we met there, but I wasn't making an active decision to pursue these new friends or to serve them, or to allow my heart to love them fully. Just kinda living in selfishness: "What's best for me at this time in my life? What am I not getting from this church?" And then my counselor a few weeks back told me that as believers in Jesus, we are all given gifts that we are to be using to benefit the body. And that God gives us great joy in doing that. When we're not serving in our giftings, there's a sense that we're missing out on some of that joy in loving others and serving them. I had heard all of this before, but I certainly wasn't living in line with the truth. I started to examine myself: Ash, where are you using your gifts? Who are you seeking to love and pursue? Don't you remember that every church is imperfect and its really not about you and your preferences anyways?

I realized I wasn't really doing that anywhere. And that this wasn't good. For me, for the women in my community group, or for God's overall plan to use His imperfect church to spread the gospel in this world. I live here, in Dayton. Not in Versailles. Not in Louisville. Just here. And there are some really good things and people here. I certainly plan on still keeping up with those I love most dearly in Louisville, women and men whose friendships changed my life and my ideas of community and fellowship. I don't ever think I'll find a better sushi bar than the one we found there. There will always be fond memories of Lovetown and mine and Nathan's first home on 2nd street. We will always want to know how Third Avenue Baptist is doing. But for now, that season in my life is over and God has great things for us here. He really does. But I will be missing out on them if I don't allow my heart to move here.

After a wonderful community group this past Wednesday where I confessed these sins to the women, and a wonderful church service last night where I got to use some of the gifts GOD has given me, and after spending time with some of those awesome brothers and sisters after service last night, I am feeling that joy my counselor was talking about. By His grace alone, I have noticed a difference this week even in my attitude and the ways I have allowed myself to love and to serve. And it's true, I have felt more at home here and more joyful in what God is doing in Dayton than I have since we moved here. I am praying more for a love for this city and the people here. And I know, just as He always does, He will provide...

Nathan's Birthday Cake

Most of you who know my man knows that he LOVES hunting. I had this idea for his birthday last year, but didn't get to it. So I stowed it away in my little book of ideas, and made it happen this year. So check out the cake I made him for his birthday... it was definitely a hit!

I don't know if you can tell from the fuzzy picture above, but I even made an arrow going into the side of this buck. What's a hunting cake without a good kill?

Visits from Friends

I feel like Nate and I have been so blessed with friends who have been faithful to visit. It is always refreshing to be with people who know me so well. I will admit, settling in Dayton has been hard. College was nice because none of us really had any huge responsibilities. We went to class, ate lunch together, lived together, and just spent all kinds of time with each other. Relationships, therefore, happened quickly! Here in Dayton its much slower, and I guess I expected it to some degree. It's been difficult to manage a full-time job, taking care of a home, cooking dinners, and trying to get closer with the people God's placed in our lives here.

It's a good lesson that every season is something new. I can't wait around and expect for Dayton to feel like Louisville. I don't think it will. But it will be a new blessing and a new thing all in itself. I know God didn't send us here to feel alone- and we have met several couples in our new church that we adore. It's just going to to take time to develop those deeper relationships. And that's okay.

In the meantime, God has been so gracious to give us friends who will brave the 2 hour drive to come stay the weekend with us. I love having them in my home!

Gettin' Organized!

As we're finally settling into Dayton and the busyness of full-time work, Nate and I have noticed lately how unorganized and unintentional we have been in a lot of areas of our lives. We've kinda just been surviving- which isn't bad. But what is is that we've watched our hearts for the Lord grow weak through lack of time spent with him, our bank account grow smaller through lavish spending, and endless battles over who's going to cook what on which night. These are new things were struggling through. So last week, we sat down and had what I called a "plan night". For any of you who know me well, this is no surprise. I love organization and method, and will make thousands of lists until I'm blue in the face.

Now, mind you, all these efforts to organize and plan are vain without the Lord's help, and a FULL understanding that we do not gain God's pleasure by having our lives and finances in order. It's easy for someone like me to default to legalism, to follow a plan "to the T" and feel empty doing it. So we're asking God to change our hearts and "fulfill every resolve we have for good work." I don't know if any of you can benefit from what we're doing, but I thought I would share nonetheless:

MEALS- This has been an area of struggle for us, especially as I have gone back to work full time. Neither one of us feels like cooking after a long day at work, but someone has to! Nate would complain that he didn't know what to fix or what we had in the house, so we have resolved to go grocery shopping together. That way, we both know what we're getting- and if Nate ever has to run to the store to pick up that one brand of coffee creamer I always get, he won't come home with something totally wrong! :) Also, I used to make a meal plan for the week- assigning one meal for a particular night. I've realized how unpredictable schedules can be, so now we're trying something new. I made two lists to put on our fridge- one that lists possible meals we can make with ingredients we currently have, and the other that lists possible sides and veggies. I guess its kinda "cafeteria style" planning. I'll let you know how it goes.

FINANCES- We have tried to budget and have done fairly well in the past. But after trying several methods, we have discovered that the cash envelope system works best for us. If I have full access to a debit card, I swipe it and swipe it with little self control. I don't see the money leave my hand, so it doesn't hurt to spend that $3 on junk from McDonalds until I look at my bank statement and see that $3 here and there really adds up! Now that we have two incomes, we want to be smart about saving- for long term things, and for vacations and things like that while we're still childless. We've also signed up to take Dave Ramsey's Financial class. We start that on Monday and I'm really excited.

TIME WITH GOD- As believers in Christ, we must be feasting on God's word and seeking Him in prayer. For His word is living and active and discerns the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts. And how can I expect to be any different at work or in my every day life if I'm not constantly calling on the Holy Spirit to fill me and live through me? We need Him! But this is often the first discipline that gets chucked from my daily routine. Oh no, I'd rather unload our dishwasher and make our kitchen look clean than allow God's word to cleanse my heart. I've known for years that my time with Him is much better and much more consistent if I draw near to Him in the mornings, before all the hussle and bustle of the day distract my heart. This does mean getting up earlier, but its worth it, and I have to remind myself of that often! Nate and I have also realized that we're not praying much together anymore or seeking God as a couple. So now on Wednesday mornings, we've decided to get up together and read something and just go to God in prayer together for different things going on in our lives. Its been good to be with Nathan (and God) in this way again.

That wraps up the biggest things we've discussed and implemented. I'm really excited too because we've signed up to go to a marriage conference put on by Family Life. That happens at the end of April.

Well, I don't know if that was beneficial to anyone else, but it was good to unload. Our jobs are going well. We're praying God would use our life and home and marriage for His glory and see Him doing that in small ways already. Marriage is better than its ever been. I praise God for the trials He's given us- for its made this time on the other side so much sweeter with Nathan. He is such a wonderful man. We miss Louisville and the fellowship we had there, but are trusting God to provide it here. I could go on and on. If there are other things you readers want to know, leave me a comment. Maybe then I'll know what to write about. :)

Workin' Woman

Hello blog world. Well, this is week 3 of working for Ash, and I really like it. I really enjoy being back in customer service- you meet so many different people from different places. Our bank is a small, hometown kinda thing, so you see the same people all week. It's great and really good for establishing relationships. I am done with training and now on my own... and its a bit scary! I feel like I'm constantly asking questions, and definitely look forward to things getting more comfortable and familiar. There's so much to learn! But I know its this way with any job, and I'll get more and more used to everything. It's kinda nervewracking being in charge of so much money! :) I've really enjoyed getting up in the mornings and having somewhere to be. It's a new phase for Nate and I to learn how to now balance work, our marriage, church, ministry, and our home, but we just have to depend on the Lord to be our Guide. Tonight, we're going out to Bonefish to celebrate my first real paycheck!

On another note, we now have a family living with us as well. The Whitacres are staying with us for a few months- they have an 18 month old boy and one on the way! So the Opie house is bustling with activity. But we're thankful that the Lord is using the house He gave us, and how He is shaping us through the process.

Well, that's all.

Got the job!

I am very thankful to let the blog world know that today, I got the job to be a teller at Liberty Savings Bank here in Dayton. I am so excited.

Waiting.

So sorry its been so long since I've written on this thing. We don't have internet at our house and don't plan on getting it for some time. Which means I am coming to the library regularly and have a short window of time to update myself on cyber-world.

We feel like we're finally settling into Dayton. In terms of the house, we've finished the kitchen, dining room, and living room and are taking a house-hiatus until after the new year. I'm starting to put pictures up on the wall which makes it feel so much more like a home. Not a ton to talk about... I've posted some pictures on Facebook. We've had a few Louisville/Lexington visitors which has been such a blessing to us. It brings a sense of normalcy to our lives, and its just nice to be around people who we really know and share deep fellowship with. We're always open to visitors!

We're enjoying and growing more comfortable in our church. There have been opportunities to have people in our home for dinner and to serve, and I really like that. It keeps me from growing introverted and selfish!

Nathan is still enjoying his job. He even had a conference this week and was making a presentation today. He is working so hard and getting adjusted to the 40-hour work week. I respect him so much for the way he is providing for us. In terms of my job, it has been slow. I've had several interviews which has been such a blessing from God, but nothing has worked out yet. I am waiting on Liberty Savings Bank here in town. I've had two interviews with them to be a teller and am really interested. I feel like they went well, but it just seems like job hunting involves A LOT of waiting! They said I should hear from them by tomorrow. I am running out of things to do in our home and am feeling lazy. Nathan gets up every morning to go to work, and sometimes I sleep in another two hours after he leaves. It doesn't seem fair! He's been great to encourage me and remind me that I can glorify God in any stage of my life (even if I'm staying home and making a Christmas garland so that our home feels more "homey")- but I am just ready to be working. I counted this morning and it's been 6 months since I've had a job! That is unheard-of for me.

It's really challenged me to evaluate where I find my worth. I will admit that, with the combination of being in a new place with no friends, having no job, staying home and doing menial tasks, I have really felt worthless as a person at times. But its really shown some inner-workings of my heart. I feel more valued as a person when I have friends, accomplishments, grand things I'm doing. But that shouldn't be the case. I should feel most valued because the God of the Universe sent His precious, sinless Son to die for my sins. That never changes, even when all my outside circumstances do! I still struggle to remember this daily- as the to-do list grows smaller every day. Just trying to enjoy this time that I have and use it to read more. Because I know a 40-hour work week will present its own challenges too.

Its fun to be in our home for the holidays. We're starting to decorate and plan for Christmas- looks like my family will come to Dayton, so I'm really excited about that! I guess that about does it on our end.

Been a While..

We don't have internet at our new house, so my access to the internet world (and this blog) is short and limited. I am at Panera enjoying the morning and thought I would let you all know whats going on. WARNING: This may be a bit long.

We are deep in projects at our new home, and I am so thankful that I am not working right now. The boredom I was experiencing for the few weeks before we got our house is long gone, and every morning I wake up with plenty to do! We decided to start on revamping the kitchen. And this will be, by far, the longest and most tedious project. It was outdated and covered in wood paneling (see below), so we decided to paint all the cabinets and panelled walls. I am a little nervous our older neighbors will be a little upset with us. They all talk about how skilled a woodsman the builder was.

SIDE NOTE: We found out that the man who built our house actually lived there for 50 years and was a skilled craftsman. That explains a lot of the character and cool spots of our house. We have a ton of storage and beautiful wood floors, and even a dumb waiter! I never knew what it was before we had one, but its just a small elevator that goes from the kitchen to the basement. The builder evidentley threw huge thanksgiving meals and had the basement full of people, so they would just send the food down the elevator!

Thanks to much help from my parents and Andy and Meredith, our kitchen is nearing completion! I have kinda gotten used to the mess our house is in right now. Dishes are scattered abroad and Dixie cups and bowls have become our "china". But its probably a good thing for a person like me to live in chaos for a while. I thrive on order, and can be a bit anal. Maybe this will help me to be a bit more flexible? I will post pictures when it's done and updated! It's so much fun to see how things change with a little bit (or a lot in our case) of paint. It's not a project I would suggest if you want a quick change. We've been in for 2 1/2 weeks and worked pretty faithfully every day on it. Perseverance to the end!!!

Something I feel like the Lord has impressed upon my heart the past few weeks is how important it is to be thankful in all cirumstances. Even as I posted the pictures of our house on Facebook, I found myself writing something negative about every room ("this wallpaper is ugly, we'll change this, the basement is creepy"). And as people in our lives ask how the house is coming and how we are enjoying it, my standard comment is, "well it's coming SLOWLY; i wish it was quicker!" Have I forgotten how I grumbled the previous months that we were living out of boxes and in a billion different places? How I didn't have anything productive to do?

I have been thinking about this verse and the surrounding ones in James 3, speaking of the power and restlessness of our tongues: "Look at the ships also; though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder... so also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things." I am learning that my moods and degrees of thankfulness are STRONGLY guided by the words that I allow to come out of my mouth. Just like the small rudder guides the whole ship, so my words often guide my wellbeing. If I am saying things like, "Oh its coming slowly, blah, blah, blah" I find myself getting discouraged when I come home to the mess that awaits us. I find myself feeling like this will never get done. I find myself complaining and forgetting to be grateful that Christ has richly blessed us with a home to live in! So Nathan and I both are fighting to be more thankful and verbally positive, trusting that that small rudder will guide these great ships into more holy and God-glorifying waters. We have so much to be grateful for- not just a house, but supremely that the God of the Universe has been pleased to bless us by sending His Son to die for the sins that we have committed against Him.

Lord Jesus, may we never reduce your gifts (children, homes, jobs, schedules, marriage, etc.) to mere subjects of complaints or burdens. May we always praise you with thankful hearts for the riches you graciously give to us!!!

Closing!

We close on our house today at 4:30. I am so thankful to the Lord for helping us to endure this season, and thankful to Him for providing us such a wonderful material posession that we don't deserve!

There's No Place like Home

I wish I could just click my heals and be in our new home. As we look at this week for our closing, I am getting more restless with our current living situation (an air mattress and wrinkled clothes stuffed into tupperware tubs) and longing to be in a more permanent, settled home. But then I begin to think, "If I have made it this far (and Andy and Meredith endured this for 9 months), then whats another couple of days?" But then I'm just trying to keep a good perspective, yet failing often. I know this is just a house, just a material thing and that we can truly live on less than what I think. Many people do. I can't permanently settle on this earth, because it's not my ultimate home.

"For here (earth) we have no lasting city, but we seek the city (heaven) that is to come." Hebrews 13:14

But I just want to feel like I actually live in Dayton, and am anxious to find my days to be more productive. This feels like college all over again- moving to a city where you don't know a soul, going home every weekend because you're bored and it's just more comfortable, trying to adjust to a brand new life. But the truth is that the move will come in God's perfect timing. I'm trying not to count on this day or that this week to finally get the keys and an address (anything could go wrong); really I am just trying to distract myself every day and do what needs to be done.

A dear friend asked me what I have learned through this whole process of transition and homelessness. I still don't know, but I pray we are more grateful for this enormous blessing that God has given us, and don't hoard it or take it for granted.

Quickly Humbled

Today was a kind of a grumpy day. I have been a little frustrated today because I have been away from my husband for almost two weeks now, and lengthy conversations have been tough to come by the past few days. He's busy with stuff in Dayton, I am busy here with small children. And instead of being disappointed with the circumstances, I took it out on Nathan and blamed it on him. Yep, that was our conversation on the phone at 1:30 today. Much to my surprise, I received these when I woke up from a nap:


Obviously, I was humbled very quickly, and immediately apologized.

Fresh beginnings.

I hate to leave the depressing post up, and I feel more encouraged today.

Honestly, I have been distant from my Savior for the past few months. I have been rebellious and arrogant and thought I didn't need Him and that He was just too far away. Lately, just through the pain of the transition of moving and just the daily grind of life, I feel Him tenderly calling me back to Him. There is no one I need more than Him- and I pray I am convinced of this more every day. And still the wonderful, humbling thing about God is that He graciously accepts me back into His arms, because Christ has paid for all my rebellion and arrogance on the cross, and because He loves me.

I am beginning to be thankful for the trial, because I see that God has used it to call His daughter back. He'll use whatever it takes. Thank you for your prayers.

Random Rantings.

So, we moved into our friend's house this weekend, and it has been SUCH a blessing. Just to be able to walk into different rooms has made such a difference for Nathan and I. Hopefully, we'll only have to move one more time, and into our house! We're not sure about the exact date yet, but are hoping for the first week in September. I'm trying not to count on it though.

I feel like being real in this post- this season has been tough, especially for me. I'm really tired of just sitting around doing nothing. I have always worked, or had something to do, and watching Nate go to work every day and make money for our family, while I sit at home (our hotel room) and check my email 40 times a day is really no fun. When I have nothing to do, it just breeds this laziness in me. There are plenty of books I can read, plenty of friend's phone calls to return, But I just had no desire to do anything! Through much pride, I would often say, "I never get bored! It takes a lot." Well, I guess this is the "a lot" I needed! :) The other day, I sat in our bed and looked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond's 153 shower curtain choices. Can you tell whats been on my mind? But the Lord is so gracious to me. I am going out of town today until Sunday to spend time with family and friends. And then next week, He has provided two different babysitting jobs for me that will occupy most of next week. It will be so helpful just to have something to do, so I'm not sitting around being irritable at my husband and thinking about the house that I don't have the keys to.

Transition is hard! We had hoped to kind of relax this weekend and spend some time together, but ended up doing a lot of household projects with our new friends who are letting us live with them. They have been so generous to us. What a crazy weekend it was- we tiled a backsplash, took like 40 trips to Home Depot, hung new light fixtures, and assembled a grill. I was in charge of doing all our laundry. Have you ever taken 9 loads of clothes to the laundromat? I felt so bad for the people who walked in behind me. I swear this was the weekend that God said, "That Ashley needs a little humbling." Read on:

At the laundromat, I was pulling my friend's load out of the washer only to discover an ink pen sitting at the top. I thought, oh shoot. But did I check to make sure nothing had been inked? Oh no! I just threw it all in the dryer like a big dumbo. Sure enough, I pulled the same load out of the dryer only to discover I had ruined one of her Air Force uniform coats.

As we were changing the light fixtures, we had to turn off the breakers to that specific area. When we got done, I volunteered to go turn it all back on. Triumphantly, I marched to the basement, turned all the lights back on, and came back upstairs only to hear that I was not successful. So I went back down, checked my work, reset the switches, and to no avail. Nathan offered to come down and help me, but in my pride I insisted that I had done it all correctly and that he could come if he wanted to, but wasn't going to be able to do anything differently. He came down only to discover that I had indeed turned OFF half the switches. I was so mad at myself.

After the backsplash had dried, I tried to help my friend move her oven back in place. I pushed it instead of lifting up on it, and left a huge bubble in their new linoleum floor. (thankfully, it went away after we set some heavy things on it).

We are in the process of trying to find a new church, and I cannot tell you how hard it is to be the new person. Its so awkward to stand around after church kinda waiting for someone to notice that you are new, and then initiate a conversation with you. I just want to jet out the back door as soon as its all over, no matter how much I like the church. I hate feeling like this! So a little challenge to my readers who are a member of a church and love Jesus: TALK TO THE NEW PEOPLE! People would look at us, clearly noticing we're new, and not say a word. I used to do the same thing, so the Lord quickly humbled my anger. But I hope this experience as the new person will help me to strike up a conversation with someone I don't know in the future. It's so hard, and you can't just throw yourself into a group of chatting friends.

So anyways, we went to this church we really like last night. I was talking with these two women during meet and greet time, so happy to finally be in a conversation. I had a cup of lemonade in my hand, and while talking with the other hand, hit the cup and sloshed it all over the seat in front of me (right where one of them intended to sit). One of the ladies was super nice and said, "Oh this happens at my house all the time!" To which I remarked, "Yeah, but I'm sure you have a four-year-old too!" After it was all cleaned up, I'll be honest and say I had to fight back the tears. I couldn't take anymore!

Is this post long enough yet? Last night, Nathan and I decided to go on a date since I am going out of town this week. The movie was at 7:40. So I made us some popcorn and got ready to walk out the door at what I thought was 7:00. Nathan then informed me that it was really 8:00. The clock in the house was wrong! So instead, we went to buy some authentic Mexican food, and planned on going to see a later movie, but just got in a fight instead and went home. When we got home, we discovered our friends sopping up the water that had leaked from their washing machine! So for the next two hours, we took a trip to Walmart to buy more towels, and soaked up water out of the floor.

Can I say this was an exhausting, yet humbling weekend? I don't know what normal life is anymore. I know this will all be funny in about 3 months, but for now, it just wears me out.

Interesting signs along the way

At random times during the summer, I've seen a few funny things I thought I'd share with you all.

Must say I've never seen this written on a car before.

I was driving in Dayton looking for a place to live, and passed this store. So if you're interested in adding some bling to your teeth, looks like this is the place to come.

This is a horrible sign on I-65 between Montgomery and Birmingham, AL. Not a very effective way to bring people into the body of Christ. Notice the picture too... priceless.

So we drove by the house today! :)

We met with our realtor again and are just blown away by how blessed we are to have gotten this house. We saw the inspection report, and are just so amazed that they are going to fix everything- from inefficient basement windows to a noisy dishwasher! And we found out our offer wasn't even the second best, but they gave it to us because he was familiar with our realtor and felt more comfortable working with him. We are blown away, and so excited! God has been so gracious to us.

What a Surprise.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. We had Nathan's very first work picnic, so we got to meet and talk to some new people. Then last night, we met some friends from our church back in Louisville at a concert here in Ohio- it was refreshing to be with people who we knew, after kinda being on our own for a few weeks now.

And I called my realtor last night during intermission to see when we would go look at houses today, and he said, "Well, I have a bit of good news for you." Evidently, the people who kinda beat us out of the house we offered on backed out. And we were second in line! Better yet, a company is in charge of selling that house, and as part of their stipulations, they have to fix EVERYTHING (minor and major) that showed up on the inspection that they've already had done and already paid for. Our realtor said he'd never heard of anything like it. So, if everything in the next month goes as planned, we will be moving into a near perfect home. I'm so excited we don't have to go look at houses anymore. Thanks for praying!

No Go for Launch.

Well, we didn't get the house we offered on. But it's okay. The house had been on the market since April, and got 2 other offers the SAME DAY we put ours in. It's no coincidence to me, just the Lord telling us that wasn't our home. He's faithful. And so now, it's back to the drawing board. Pray we find one soon.

Feeling like Grownups.

Well, since the last post, we've moved into a much cheaper weekly rate hotel. It's okay. The first day we checked in I almost cried- the smell of smoke and the kind of people I saw staying here freaked me out a little bit, especially since I will be here all day by myself. But as we've been here for about a week, it really hasn't been that bad. Sure our room is small, we don't have an oven (lots of skillet dinners!), and we have to supply our own toilet paper, but this could be much worse and much more expensive. Hopefully we'll only be here for another 2 weeks or so, and then move in with some good friends we've met here. Could it be that the Lord is trying to teach me to be content in whatever the circumstances??

We continue to enjoy our realtors. They've shown us a lot of houses and taken very good care of us. They took us out to dinner one night at their favorite restaurant in Dayton. And they got to hear the interesting story of how God brought Nathan and I together. It was a lot of fun! Last Friday, I went to get a haircut and it turned out horrible!! I guess that's all I needed to release the emotion from the past month, so I just lost it. I was crying, and letting out all the stress of moving around, not having a home, fighting a lot with Nathan, and feeling ugly with a bad haircut! This has been a tough season for us- and some days realizing that we will be without a place to settle for at least another month is discouraging. I really just needed something fun to do. That very night, Larry gave us two free tickets to a Dayton Dragons baseball game. Every single game is always sold out- but even better, we got to go to a party deck! Our seats were wonderful, we got free Dragons visors, and even free food and drinks! It was a lot of fun, and just what I needed to destress a bit.

So over the course of a few days, we looked at houses, and narrowed it down to about 4. Some needed a lot of work, others not. But two nights ago, both mine and Nate's Dad came up here to help us out. It was wonderful! We showed them all 4 houses, and their perspective and insight helped so much. I ended up not liking so much the house that was originally my favorite. It's just so tough- with every house, there's something you like and things you don't like. You have to think about location in terms of resale, and what you can afford and how it will pay off down the road. It's a bit overwhelming, so having some older wisdom here helped a lot! That night was funny, because both of our dads ended up staying the night with us in our "suite". Sleeping in the same room with 3 other men was quite interesting. I haven't slept in the same bed as my dad in years! AND, both of our Dads are LOUD snorers, so I was braced for the worst night of sleep I've had yet. Actually, it was fine. Not much snoring, and another funny memory! This has been quite the adventure.

So, we just put an offer in on a house last night (see picture). We love it. It's a little more expensive than we wanted, but not out of our ability to pay, and the best value in terms of current price and resale value. The houses in the area are selling for a lot more than this house is- and all it needs is some paint to update the inside. I am trying not to count on it being our house until all is said and done (this process is so long)- but just to trust the Lord. We prayed that God would mess up this whole process if this wasn't the house for us. We really do want to honor Him with such a major financial decision. If you could just pray for us and this whole process, that would be wonderful! Pray that God would give us good perspective as we face more time in a hotel, and just a stressful season of our marriage. Nathan goes back to work tomorrow- so pray for him as he starts a job too. We will keep you updated!

Chaos has become normal.

So a little update from us: we have indeed decided to buy a home. When we researched it all out, it just makes sense- our mortgage is going to end up costing less than it would for us to rent someplace out. And our money will be going towards OUR mortgage instead of someone else's. We met our realtor for the first time yesterday and absolutely love him (see picture!) He comes with a wife too! They work together as a team, which I love, because you get both perspectives on a home. They made us feel comfortable from the get-go. And they are very straight forward with us- "you don't want this home, we won't let you buy this one" etc. And they are constantly bantering back and forth in that we've-been-married-for-41-years kinda way. We are also very thrilled that they are incredibly supportive of us shopping in a price range way below what we were pre-approved for. They are wonderful and we have no doubt that they will take good care of us!

So we looked at about 6 houses yesterday and were pretty encouraged with what was out there. We didn't feel that overwhelmed, until we both woke up at 3am last night with what I would call "stress dreams". Our heads were both swirling with house layouts. :) It was pretty funny. We were up watching "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" until almost 6am. I hope this isn't a habit. So now the new question is where do we stay for the next months while we look for a house? We're hoping to get into some kind of short-term place that is decently priced and safe. Our hotel is kicking us out tomorrow! But we already made two friends one of the first days we were here who said we could stay with them after they close on their house in mid-August. I never thought I'd be without my own home for so long! Hopefully I'll just appreciate our new home that much more. We'll be master clothes-rollers and car packers by the time this is all said and done. And it has been nice having housekeeping... :)

Air Force stuff has been good, and kinda frustrating. Today we spent several hours just trying to get all our paperwork in order (there's SOOOO much of it!). But Nathan was excited because we went to a place on base called "Rod and Gun" and discovered that they have hunting and fishing opportunities on base! He's sitting here reading me all this information as I type. Nate doesn't have to start work until next Wednesday, which means we have the next week to look for a home. I'm really hoping we find one soon so we can get this ball rolling. The Lord knows. So for those of you who talked about coming to visit, we may have to postpone those times until October! I guess that's all for now.